Johnny lost a tooth last night. Unfortunately, the Tooth Fairy got carried away line dancing at the Thirsty Cowboy in Medina, Ohio too long to find out about it in time. Country band Coalie's Run must have been putting on an excellent show but, hopefully, the Tooth Fairy will be back in business tonight. Speaking of which, I've always wondered what the average child gets these days for a tooth and thanks to creative research from Strategas Research Partners and Delta Dental, now we may know. Stock market returns have been so bad that even the value of primary teeth have appreciated more than the Dow Jones Industrial Average over the past thirteen years. According to this chart, the Tooth Fairy has been paying 80% more for teeth than she did thirteen years ago while equities have gained just 50%. I'm hoping this means she's been a savvy bond investor for the last thirteen years otherwise she may be facing a significant budget deficit from spending far more than she's been taking in from the stock market. For the sake of our children and our children's children, let's hope it's the former.
Nah, have no fear, kids. The Tooth Fairy won't go broke for a very long time. Your pearly whites will have value for years to come.
Even after selling an ounce here and there on Ebay, she's still sitting on a mountain of golden cuspids from the late 1890's and earlier.
Smart one, that Tooth Fairy, she really is.
